What You Need To Change Your Life
What does “change your life” even mean to you in the first place? That's the first thing you've got to get absolutely clear about.
I'm sure you must have heard before, people saying things like, “I need to change my life”, or “I need a big change in my life”, yes? But that's so vague isn't it? What do they really mean?
The Root of What People Really Want
Here's the root of what I believe everyone wants – to be more happy and fulfilled. Yes sure, people may want more money, more success, etc, but why they really want all that, is to feel more happy and fulfilled. You would agree with that wouldn't you?
So basically, “change your life” means, “be happier and more fulfilled”.
Let's assume that's true for you too, as it is for 99% of people.
So why are so many people unhappy with what they're doing, where they are, and their lives basically? What does it take to live a life full of happiness regardless of what happens or goes on around you? And where does this impulse to change your life come from?
This is where you need to understand the relationship between your life conditions and life blueprint.
Life Blueprint versus Life Conditions
Your life blueprint is made up of a set of beliefs or expectations you have about how your life should be.
Your life conditions include everything you have right now, like your job, your relationships, your income, everything just as it is right now.
Here's the formula:
When your LIFE CONDITIONS = Your LIFE BLUEPRINT = You get HAPPINESS
If your LIFE CONDITIONS ≠Your LIFE BLUEPRINT = You feel UNHAPPY or STRESSED
Your Story (The Story You're Telling Yourself)
Everything and anything you keep holding onto and playing repeatedly in your head makes up your “story“. Your story is part of your life blueprint.
One main thing you need to become aware of are the beliefs you're holding onto, which are part of your story.
There are 2 categories of these beliefs.
The 1st category: Your beliefs about what you need, or what needs to happen for you to be happy.
What's the criteria that needs to be met before you can feel more happy and fulfilled? Do you need more money, a better relationship with your partner, or to travel more maybe? What is it for you?
Everyone is different right? So, what do you “believe” needs to change in your life in order for you to “feel your life is progressing”? Or, what do you believe needs to change in your life, in order for you to feel happy and fulfilled?
Your beliefs about what you should have, what life should be like, what you're entitled to, when you should get what you want, etc, are all part of your “story”.
What you're really trying to uncover here are your beliefs about what you need to be happy and successful. These beliefs about what you need, are part of your life blueprint.
What you believe is required to change your life and be happy is a huge factor in whether you'll feel you're succeeding or not.
The 2nd category: Your beliefs about yourself, your capabilities, skills, and expertise.
These beliefs will largely determine how you feel about your ability to make the changes needed in your life, in order for you to be happy.
Do you feel you can do what it takes to change your life or not?
Do you believe you have what it takes or don't you?
All these beliefs you have, that are part of your story, collectively contribute to whether you feel happy or not right now. Why? Because either consciously or unconsciously, they're making you feel whether your life blueprint is within reach or not.
How To Live A Happier And More Fulfilling Life Now
Remember the formula?
When your LIFE CONDITIONS = Your LIFE BLUEPRINT = You get HAPPINESS
If your LIFE CONDITIONS ≠Your LIFE BLUEPRINT = You feel UNHAPPY or STRESSED
Therefore, you can begin feeling happier in life by doing one or more of these things:
1) Change your life conditions.
This is what more and more people are trying to do nowadays. They set goals, hire life coaches and take action in order to achieve those goals. They realize either consciously or unconsciously that their current life conditions don't equal what they want (their life blueprint).
So, they work towards improving their life conditions in order to eventually “live” their life blueprint. This is a totally acceptable and valid way to increase your happiness and fulfillment, with one caveat.
In order for this way to work, you must be the type of person that's actually motivated by the idea of “closing the gap” between where you are and where you want to be in life. This is a really super important point to understand and accept.
If you're not the type that's motivated by that, well then, you're likely going to experience lots more un-pleasurable emotions. Feeling stressed and unhappy would be the least of them. Trying to achieve goals in order to change your life conditions in this case, would have the opposite effect (not more happiness).
2) Change your life blueprint.
You could also be happier right now (no need to wait) if you can change what and how you believe your life should be like.
People struggle with this because they believe that would mean they're settling for less than they deserve. But is that really true? Are you really settling for less just because you're making your expectations more realistic and achievable?
If you modify your expectations to make them more realistic and achievable, then automatically you begin feeling less stressed.
Or, if you learn to align your expectations more with your natural strengths, conditions or abilities, you would also experience less stress and more happiness.
3) Change the story about yourself and your current life conditions.
This is actually part of changing your life blueprint but I wanted to be more specific about this point.
Of these 3 ways, this is arguably the most important because it can get you “unstuck”, unstressed and happier right now.
But here's the catch. It's not easy and many people don't like this approach. It involves telling yourself the truth about what is really going on. It also involves being honest with yourself and “taking ownership” for your life conditions. Not blaming everyone and everything else.
You need to begin taking ownership of where you are in life, stop complaining and be highly accountable to getting better results (to change your life for the better).
It's tough to do all this though. Many people would rather hold onto their “victim” stories and mentality because it keeps them feeling safe. It's like, you want to change your life (which will involve stepping outside your comfort zone) but you want to stay in your comfort zone at the same time. Think about it.
If it's the governments fault there aren't enough good paying jobs for me, then that means, there's nothing I can do to get a better paying job. I obviously want a better paying job but I believe it's out of my control. So I don't have to change a thing nor try to improve my conditions. I get to stay right where I am while complaining about the government. In other words, I stay safe within the comfort zone of what I know, and I never have to step out of my comfort zone (where uncertainty lies).
Make no mistake though, by choosing not to take ownership of and change your stories, your “suffering” will continue for as long as you live. You may get to stay within your comfort zone with that approach, but you will suffer because your life conditions don't match your life blueprint.
Evaluate Your Story And Blueprint
Whatever you believe your life is about, whatever you tell yourself you're about and whatever you tell yourself you deserve or don't deserve in this lifetime, is your “truth”. That truth of yours will determine your level of happiness. So choose what you want to hold onto as truth wisely.
If you want to create an outstanding quality of life, it would be in your best interest to have a story that supports that life vision you have.
Is what you believe is required for you to feel happier and more successful valid? Is your blueprint or vision realistic and achievable? If you don't think about this, you may be holding onto a life vision, picture or blueprint, that may be impossible to achieve or experience.
The “story” you choose to hold onto and live with, is directly influencing the emotions you feel. What you feel influences your actions and behaviour. Your actions and behaviour over time, shape your destiny.
Conclusion
To wrap up, watch this video of Tony diving deeper into this important topic and giving you examples.
If you have a story that isn't serving you or your vision in the best way possible, create a new story. If you realize you have many limiting beliefs about yourself and what you're capable of, get rid of them and create new empowering beliefs.
Making sure your story fits well with your blueprint is one of the most powerful things you can do to achieve amazing things. It's possible to do by yourself but takes a really high level of awareness and ability to see through mental clutter. If you need help, reach out to me. This is exactly where the coaching work I do, helps people create massive breakthroughs is little time.
Also, share your breakthroughs and distinctions in the comments below. All the best.